USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
A reminder that I care about your education so I am learning you with bird scores. (33/485) = world rank/number of birds in the country.
Group D
USA 2 (26/820) v. Australia 0 (33/726)
Lets play a little game, never have I ever punched my ticket to the knockout round in the second game of the tournament…..oh wait, we just did that!!! Even without Pulisic (ill get to that in a moment), we got a very solid 2-0 victory. However, this was not the same beauty-of-a-game that we saw from game 1. We started off the game well and went up 1-0 with an own goal (Ausie Ausie Susie, Oi Oi Oi!). But, after we got the goal we let off the gas and reverted to our long ball ways. However, we ended the half well. Dest came alive and brought us life and then we got to do a double belly for goal 2. VAR can be great sometimes. Then the second half happened and it was blah.
So where does that leave us?
1) Pulisic. Part 1. He got kicked in the calf before game 1, then got kicked in the calf in game 1. He has said he is fine, but clearly he is not. However, I would guess that if we needed him he would have played today. The fact that we did not have to play him today is a luxury we have never had, and it is great! Now, we do not need to play him in game 3 and thus will give him extra time to get fully healthy. I am nearly 100% certain he will play in the knockout game.
2) Pulisic Part 2. We need Pulisic if we are going to do anything special this world cup. The second half the Paraguay game and today show just how much he effects the game for the US. We lacked speed, creativity, and offensive force for the majority of the game. Dest is amazing, but he needs CP so that he gets more space on his side. Balogun similarly needs CP, but more directly so that he gets better service in more dangerous areas. With CP we might be able to beat anybody. Without CP, we are not winning more than one knockout game.
3) Are we good? Yes, but we are also playing not great teams. So, I would say I am very cautiously optimistic. Turkey should be the best test in the group play, but we should be sitting a number of starters in that game. So, our first real chance to see what we are will be the knockout stage game 1.
4) Can we play a full 90 minutes? Unclear. Both of our second halves have been disappointing in terms of the style and desire to play soccer. It seems like we may not necessarily have the mental fortitude to keep pushing and playing the type of soccer we watched in the first half of the Paraguay game and at times in the first of half of today. That said, however, we have not needed to have the initiative in either second half because of the goals and effort in both of our first halves. We will only find out when we get pushed for all 90 mins. But, I worry we may just not have the experience when that moment comes.
5) This is the best world cup tournament we have ever played. Even in 2002, when we went to the quarterfinals, we were only a counterattacking team. We did it well then, but it was mostly heart. This team looks like a team that knows how to play soccer, and that is good at it. That is exciting!!!! I really hope CP will be fully healthy and I hope Paraguay was proof rather than poof.
As for the Kangaroos, they are still fine. They just need to win their final game against Paraguay and they will guarantee a spot in the knockouts. Even a tie will likely get them in and a lose there is still a more remote possibility to get through.
Also, hilarious to see the ref go down with a cramp at the end of the game. We should have just played without him in the field and seen what happens.
Turkey (86/393) v. Paraguay (40/689)
Paraguay goal 1:09 into the game. Very nice. Both teams seem like they are full of asses. Turns out Turkey may not be good. They are controlling the game, but can’t score. This game was out of control from the beginning. New Rule Red Card for Almiron (who is the worst). If you cover your mouth to say something to an opposing player it is now a red card. Almiron did that. He got a red card. This game has been out of control from the beginning and both teams seem like complete asses. The ref has not helped. Also, it turns out that Turkey may not be good, they controlled most of the game but cannot score a goal.
Group C
Scotland 0 (145/268) v. Morocco 1 (106/343)
Morocco scored in 1 min and 11 seconds into the game. Generally, for Scotland, that is not the way you want to start the game. Morocco should have had more goals in the first, but they didn’t. Scotland ended the first half strong and had good chances. Then THEY GOT ROBBED!!!! They should have two pks in the second half. Instead they got zero! Bullhockey!!! Scotland dominated the second half but could not get the tie. Now, they need a tie or win against Brazil. Not an easy task, but it does not seem impossible in this cup.
Brazil 3 (3/1,861) v. Haiti 0 (156/244)
Brazil needed the win. They got the win. After the first 10-ish minutes, Haiti never really had any chance. Brazil is now tied with Morocco at the top of the group with 4 points. I don’t really think they look that good yet, but I’m sure they will get through to the knockout stage.
Tomorrow’s Games
Group E – group of not an easy life: but for Curacao, this would have been the group of death
4 pm – Germany v. Ivory Coast – winner to knockout, likely as the group leader
8 pm – Ecuador v. Curacao – Ecuador needs to win
Group F – on the verge of being on the verge of being the group of death (Sweden and Tunisia are not good enough to get it there)
1 pm – Dutch v. Sweden – Holland doesn’t need the win, but they need the win
12 am (midnight) – Tunisia v. Japan – same for Japan, Tunisia needs to win
BOYCOTT FOX
Don’t ever forget the power you have! Lulu was taken off the analyst desk today!! WE DID IT! And who celebrated most…. You guessed it, our friendly narcissist
Now, it is likely that the crab king was just doing a “special” thing for the USA game, but then again, maybe not.
Also, I am eating up the hate Zlatan is shoving in Lala’s face (because Lela deserves all the hate anyone wants to shove his way).
Here he is beyond annoyed at dumb dumb asking him about his music
Here is both Zlatan and Henry excluding the turd from playing with them.
Note how Henry starts by fake passing to flamey and how flamey reacts like he was going to get the ball. Note too how Henry and Zlatan then go one to play by themselves while the firebrand is likely just off screen. This is some real 3rd grade bullying and I love it.*
For all the Harry Potter fans, here is a special video for you.
Don’t ever forget that FIFA and Fox want to ruin our game by adding completely unnecessary water breaks so that they can play extra commercials in the middle of the game. #NeverForgetNeverForgive.
Technically these next photos are not Fox’s fault, but who cares about technicalities. I went to see the game at a public showing (man of the people), but as some of you may know, I am not the tallest. Inevitably, I was fighting for my life to get me eyes on the screen. I may be out on public viewings. This is Fox’s fault. #BOYCOTTFOX
I am also taking any ideas on how i can sue Fox for adding commercials/taking the camera away from the game while the clock is running. Intentional infliction of emotional distress is my current bent. #BOYCOTTFOX #LETSSUEFOX
*I do not love 3rd grade bullying when it is happening in 3rd grade. Not cool in there.
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