knock knock . . . . . Knock Knock . . . . . KNOCK KNOCK: The World Cup starts tomorrow (June 11).
Let’s start by ripping off that band-aid that we all know will pull out a bunch of body hair. The lead up to the Qatar World Cup was bad–really bad–really really bad. But now, against all odds, the lead up to “our” World Cup seems even worse. FIFA is the most corrupt organization this world has to offer, and It turns out that when you combine it with the USA you get the biggest big pile of stinky hot embarrassment. I wont try to list everything that is terrible (I dont have the energy). But, just look at some of the basics, we dont know how to grow grass or maintain soccer fields, we are playing in stadiums that are not meant for soccer, we dont have infrastructure to move people from around the world to and from the stadiums, and we are making people pay more than ever before. There is so much more to say, but iuhwepifhpwigfwhenrpfglkasmw….
This World Cup has a few significant new things. For the first time, 48 teams are in the World Cup (up from 32). Did anyone ask for this? Nope. Literally, no one asked FIFA to do this. But they like money and no one can stop them. Anyways, this means that we will have 104 games instead of 62 games. We will also have 3 teams (out of 4) move into the knock stage from 8 of the 12 groups. Soooo if the USA doesnt get out of its group it would be the poopiest cherry at the top of the embarrassment pile. This World Cup is also the first time it is being hosted by 3 countries (USA/Mex/Canada). In 2002, the world cup was split between Japan and South Korea, but that was the only other time the cup was not just in one country. What does this mean? It will be the most pollution from any world cup, wooh. Also, Canada will be looking real nice compared to USA and Mexico.
On all those happy notes, I suspect (and FIFA is banking on this), like every other world cup, once the games start it will be exciting to watch the best sport in the world play the best tournament in the world. As i said in my first newsletter back in 2022, “I promise nothing in these briefers, not even to get them out daily. And, though you may read some hot takes, know that they are not ever researched. I will, however, get you the scores to every game.”
Tomorrow’s games (all times EST):
3 pm – Mexico v South Africa
10 pm – South Korea v Czechia
PS – to my Westham supporting cousins …. Wooooofffff. I hope you still like bubbles
PSS – the Knicks just had the greatest comeback of all time (29 points down)
PSSS – Wemby is the worst. He is a dirty player. Also the Spurs deserve to lose everything for the rest of time.
PSSSS – basketball is a dumb sport that no one watches or even likes. I for one am glad I don’t care about basketball because I would not even have time to watch it with the world cup starting tomorrow.
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